"I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not live" -Francoise Sagan Novelist, Screenwriter

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Monday, September 28, 2009

If You Only Knew

"Huh?!" "I don't know about that Pastor..." "How long?"
There aren't too many times that a leader of a church gets resistance from his congregation, but today Pastor McCann isn't so reverend to his followers. He's prepared though.
I heard him make this statement on a few Sundays last December. Instead of the usual uproarious "YES SIR!" or "We're wit'cha Pastor!" the mood in the pews was "Let's hope he forgets about that."


"...Beginning January 1st, we're going to start a 21-day fast for 2009." The words rattled over the pews after leaving the pastor's lips. He stood back and let his eyes rove over the crowd of people he oversaw, looking for a reaction. Sporadic, hushed grumbles could be heard from all corners of the chapel - loud enough to show that the members were not pleased but low enough to show the pastor respect.


After a deliberate moment of silence, and a hush fell over the members, Pastor McCann's voice silenced the hum of the audio visual equipment when he spake into the microphone. "Watch this, if God could show you just a glimpse of what your life will be like in '09, believe me you'd want to pray and fast." What a devastating moment for Princess... revelation!


If we had an inkling of what the next 365 days will be like, or even the next day for that matter, God knows we'd want to ask God for mercy, pre-emptively. If you knew that in a month from now your doctor will tell you the percentage of fat in your body is a level just beneath obese and will surely bring about Diabetes, heart trouble, and other maladies, you'd start exercising immediately! Why do we have to wait for God to test us before we show Him gratitude and praise?


From time to time, I am guilty of waiting for the storm to call His name instead of thanking Him for the days filled with sunshine and rainbows prior to the storm. There are days I wake up and my mind is filled with all the errands I have to run or projects due at work. I sometimes forget that there are many who are ailing or are simply no longer a resident of this Earthly field. Most mornings before my feet hit the floor, I open my eyes and thank Him for His unparallelled mercy and overwhelming love that is undeserved of a wretch like me.


Pastor McCann followed with: "Don't think fasting is going to change the circumstances that are sure to come. Fasting doesn't change God. It keeps us covered with His grace and mercy and prepares us for God's tests and trials that are down the road." Amen! Being as though we're born into sin and continue to sin daily, our lives will be filled with trials and tribulations. None are exempt. But with sacrificial offerings to God, such as fasting, we can show Him that we're appreciative of the life He's allowed us to live and beg for His mercy. However, His will shall be done. I can't say that because I began the year off joining the church in the aforementioned fast, my path was clear from hurt, harm, troubles or strife. I've had issues just like anyone else. But I sure can't imagine how I would have steered through the storm and made it out alive if I didn't have His covering.


When deciding to write this blog, I was going back and forth about what my debut topic would be: love, life's experiences, family?? In the middle of the night, it came to me that there's one subject that embodies all of those subjects: GOD! I'm not sure what you needed to hear today but I know I needed to hear me say these words today. My new year began last week on the 24th, my birthday. Your 20s are supposedly your "learning years." I can definitely use some direction as to how to begin the end of my 2nd decade of life. What better instruction than to give a little sacrifice to God in order to receive a lot of blessings?



A couple of days before my birthday, I had someone ask me, "How do ya feel about turning 29? Is it the number? You afraid of getting old?" Let me emphatically state how appreciative I am of aging. I feel getting older is such a blessing, for if you're not getting older, you're DEAD! There are many who are six feet under the terrain who wish they'd seen 29 or 44 or 62, etc. I've recently had the dreadful experience of witnessing a neighbor and two former schoolmates have their lives cut short by gratuitous violence. None of them were over 25-years-old. This brings to mind the opening line of the sermon Rev. Al Sharpton delivers annually at my church. Paraphrasing, it reads something like: "You didn't do anything so special yesterday, for God to grant you the opportunity to wake up today. Nor did you do anything much different [yesterday] from many of those who didn't wake up today." Is my body starting to talk to me? YES! Dare I say I'm starting to alternate between my flat and high-heeled shoes, thanks to a little intermittent complaining from my right knee. I can't eat junk food latenight like I used to. I'll have heartburn all night and have gained 6 pounds by the morning (I know, I know, I have an upcoming date with my Mari Winsor pilates DVD and my living room floor). However, ailments aside, I am not now, nor will I ever be ashamed of getting older. I thank Him for each day because tomorrow's not guaranteed.


I just pray that this year is better than the previous ones and worse than the ones to come. Ohh boy have I had my share of ups and downs (still waiting for someone to grab my hand and help me up), good friends and bad acquaintances, good jobs and bad career choices, lonely nights and overpopulated days during the past 28 years of this life playing the part of Princess. I'm anticipating experiencing the myth that is how glorious it is to be in your 30s. Hopefully as I age and acquire wisdom, I'll be able to obtain more of the wise and have less episodes of the dum! Here's to health, wealth, stability, great support, keeping the faith and humility to aid me in persevering the journey ahead and tackling the obstacles life surely has ahead. Man, if I only knew...

Just some reflections from my heart. Love is contagious, spread it!
~ Ms. P

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Peace Queen how u doin boo?!!!
Medina-